Welcome Beautiful People!
FINALLY! You're here!!! You've found the place where humor meets the real world – and your inbox never knew it could be this fun.
Welcome Beautiful People!
FINALLY! You're here!!! You've found the place where humor meets the real world – and your inbox never knew it could be this fun.
What's a Riot Anyway?
A Riot Is A Bold, Beautiful Act Of Laughing Loudly In The Face Of Nonsense, Questioning The Common Assumptions, Spotting Sneaky Manipulations, And Reclaiming Your Sanity—One Truth-Bomb At A Time. It’s A Joyous Rebellion Against Confusion, Nonsense, And All Things "Blah."
Here’s How It Works:
Laugh First: Humor Disarms Stupid Stuff.
Think Clearly: Satire Sharpens Your Critical Thinking.
Stand Confident: Empowered, Informed, And Ready To Take Action, But Only If You Feel Like It.
Join The Riot—Because Smart, Funny, Fearless People Belong Together (And Frankly, We Throw The Best Parties).
Action!
Lorem ipsum The Internet to reach consumers. Digital marketing is a broad field, including attracting
Future Riot Wear To Come.
Like it?
Non-Stuffy Self-Help That Might Actually Work
I mean it might not, but that's true for everything, right? Try it!!!
Why Join the Riot?
Or: What’s In It For You (Besides A Six-Pack From Laughing)?
Hilarity + Insights: Each email is a mini escape from the doom-scroll – packed with satirical takes on real life. Side effects include sudden snorts of laughter in public and actually looking forward to Mondays.
Feel Empowered: Confidence Boosts: Pattie emails come with a hidden bonus: they lift you up. It’s like a pep talk from your funniest friend – you’ll walk away feeling like a boss (who maybe giggled coffee out your nose), and the occasional real-world tools to navigate the madness.
Insider Community: Join the Cool Kids: When you subscribe, you’re in Pattie’s inner circle (secret handshake not required, mostly). Expect occasional surprises: meme drops, cheeky challenges, and first dibs on any new mischief.
100% Real Talk:
No B.S. Zone (Unless it's funny). Pattie keeps it realer than a $3 bill is fake. She’ll say what everyone’s thinking, tackle taboo topics with wit, and always call out the absurdities – all while encouraging you to do you.
What's a riot anyway?
A Riot is a bold, beautiful act of laughing loudly in the face of nonsense, Questioning the common Assumptions, spotting sneaky manipulations, and reclaiming your sanity—one truth-bomb at a time. It’s a joyous rebellion against confusion, Nonsense, and all things "blah."
Here’s how it works:
Laugh First: Humor disarms Stupid Stuff.
Think Clearly: Satire sharpens your critical thinking.
Stand Confident: Empowered, informed, and ready to Take Action, but only if you feel like it. Seriously.
Join the Riot—because smart, funny, fearless people belong together (and frankly, we throw the best parties).
Meet Pattie Riot
Hey, I’m Pattie Riot, and I’m here to incite a laughter revolution. By day, I’m a mild-mannered non-comedian, but by night I’m a riot starter. 👋
I've spent years getting stressed out by the news, online media and, well, everything except cat videos. I decided the only way to navigate these stupid times is to laugh a community into less stress and possibly more action. (Like getting up on the couch, occasionally).
My mission? To empower you to find humor in what you can’t control and kick butt where you can. Think of me as the rebel friend who’ll roast society’s nonsense, hype up your confidence, and hand you the mic too. Ready to join me? I promise, with me in your corner, life’s curveballs will seem a lot more like comedic opportunities.
Over 7 people have joined the riot
Two of them are my cats.
The rest? Probably Legends.
Popular Laughs
Action That's Better than Crying
Future Riot Wear To Come. Like It?
Non-Stuffy Self-Help That Might Actually Work
Why Join the Riot?
or: What’s In It for You (Besides a Six-Pack from Laughing)?
Hilarity + Insights:
Each email is a mini escape from the doom-scroll – packed with satirical takes on real life. Side effects include sudden snorts of laughter in public and actually looking forward to Mondays.
Feel Empowered:
Confidence Boosts: Pattie emails come with a hidden bonus: they lift you up. It’s like a pep talk from your funniest friend (but better) – you’ll walk away feeling like a boss (who maybe snort laughed coffee out your nose), and the occasional real-world tools to navigate the madness.
Insider Community:
Join the Cool Kids: When you subscribe, you’re in Pattie’s inner circle (secret handshake not required, but welcome). Expect occasional surprises: meme drops, cheeky challenges, and first dibs on any new mischief.
100% Real Talk:
No B.S. Zone (Unless it's funny). Pattie keeps it realer than a $3 bill is fake. She’ll say what everyone’s thinking (or what no one is thinking), tackle taboo topics with wit, and call out the absurdities – all while encouraging you to do you.
Your New Partner in Crime (and Comedy)
Meet Pattie Riot
Hey, I’m Pattie Riot, and I’m here to incite a laughter revolution. By day, I’m a mild-mannered non-comedian, but by night I’m a riot starter. 👋
I've spent years getting stressed out by the news, online media and, well, everything except cat videos. I decided the only way to navigate these stupid times is to laugh a community into less stress and possibly more action. (Like getting up from the couch, occasionally).
My mission? To empower you to find humor in what you can’t control and kick butt where you can. Think of me as the rebel friend who’ll roast society’s nonsense, hype up your confidence, and hand you the mic too. Ready to join me? I promise, with me in your corner, life’s curveballs will seem a lot more like comedic opportunities.
Over 7 people have joined the riot
Two of them are my cats.
The rest? Probably Legends.
And you. Wonderful you.
What Rioters say
I spewed my coffee reading Pattie’s last email – zero regrets. 😂 In a world of blah content, she’s the hilarious hype-woman we all need. My inbox has become my happy place.”
–
Alex G
Not a real subscriber, be we're holding a spot for you AG
My only complaint: Pattie’s emails make me laugh too loud at work. Now my boss thinks I’m up to something awesome(and I am – it’s called stress relief, boss).”
–
Taylor P.
Taylor P
Also not a real person.... or is she?
READY TO join the best club in the universe?
Be the first to know
& the last to panic.
Sign up below and I’ll beam you top-secret dispatches straight from my underground bunker (aka my garage with suspiciously good Wi-Fi). 👉 Why bother? Because: The news is dumb — I’ll make it dumber and smarter at the same time. You get exclusive rants, rebellion toolkits, and meme artillery before the 'normies' do. If the world ends, you’ll get my final “I told you so” directly in your inbox that you can send to all your friends. 🔗 Punch in your email. Hit submit. High-five your inner rebel. I promise no spam, no boring updates — just a chaotic cocktail of critical thinking, cackling, and the occasional conspiracy meme. Cause sometimes conspiracies are hilarious.
Join now. Be the first to know and the last to panic.
See you in the contact list, freedom fries. 🍟🔥
LOL therapy
for the World-fatigued
Ready to Riot (Laugh & Maybe do stuff)?
You’ve made it this far, which means two things:
1) You have excellent taste in comedy, and
2) You’re so ready for this.
🎉 Seriously, don’t miss out on the most fun you can have reading an email. Hit that button and join the Riot Squad –
let’s start a rebellion of joy in your inbox together!
Grab a spot in the cool club 😎
NOW SHARE THIS:
Privacy Policy (for the Real world)
Cookie Policy (Delicious
Quick Links
Contact Us
Social Media Links
Contact Us
© 2025 Pattie Riot Inc.
Made with ❤️ and a caffeine overdose
© 2025 Pattie Riot Inc. | Privacy Policy
Made with ❤️ and a caffeine overdose